Rich aren’t immune to abuse
Editor’s note: Michele Weldon is an author, assistant professor of journalism at Northwestern University and a leader with The OpEd Project.
(CNN) — Believing that celebrity and success — even attractiveness — guarantee immunity from domestic violence is like believing famous people are magically protected from the dangers of other drivers on the road, airborne pathogens from a stranger’s sneeze, or the path of a wild fire.
Domestic violence knows no boundaries, affecting women — and some men — who meet every descriptor of race, age, socioeconomic or educational status, sexual orientation, demography, geography, ideology, disability or theology. Domestic violence is more common than breast cancer and left-handedness.
Famous or anonymous, one in four women in this country will experience domestic violence in her lifetime, according to the Centers for Disease Control. Each year in the United States, 5.3 million women experience domestic violence, at an annual cost to the American economy of $5.8 billion.
Report: Nigella Lawson choked by husband
According to the U.N. Women’s 2011-2012 annual report, “This pervasive human rights violation affects all countries and communities.” The World Health Organization reports that 15% to 71% of women ages 15 to 49 in a multicountry study had experienced intimate partner violence.
Notably, nowhere on this planet is there 0% violence against intimate partners. Nowhere on this planet is there a society immune to domestic violence. And no upscale neighborhood or celebrity-frequented restaurant is off limits.
So why should the recent public altercation between TV chef Nigella Lawson and her handsome, successful husband, Charles Saatchi, surprise anyone? In light of tabloid photographs that show Saatchi holding a tearful Lawson by the neck, it should be clear that intimate partner violence is a universal scourge. Why does the myth that intimate partner violence exists only in lower socioeconomic communities persist?
Saatchi has not been charged in connection with the incident and has denied his actions were abusive, calling the encounter a “playful tiff.” Horrified observers reportedly had a different take.
Certainly no one wishes the suffering of violence on anyone regardless of who they are. But this alleged incident provides a painful reminder that it is time to permanently dissolve the mythology that domestic violence only happens to low-income women. And it is time to take such an outrageous public display of apparent violence seriously.
Shortly after the publication of the photos, Britain’s Nick Griffin of the National Party tweeted: “If I had the opportunity to squeeze Nigella Lawson, her throat wouldn’t be my first choice.” Next, he followed up with this: “To feministcranks whining re my ‘objectifying’ Nigella, she was happy to use her curves to sell books. Her chorizo potato soup v good btw.”
That’s about as funny as referring to a sleeveless tank top as a “wife beater” and thinking that’s OK.
Saatchi’s downplaying of the incident as “playful” to the media is also no surprise. As a survivor of domestic violence myself, and an advocate and spokesperson for nonviolence for the past 18 years, I know that sentiment is on par with the common rationalizations for domestic violence I have heard: “She asked for it. She likes it. She made me mad. She provoked me. It was her fault.”
Saatchi’s comment does not match in scope the most outrageous response I once heard from a police officer about a man who shot his wife: “She ran in front of the bullet.” But Saatchi’s flippant dismissal matches our universal misunderstanding that domestic violence is not about us. It is always about other people somewhere else.
Unfortunately, the sorority of successful and powerful women who have reportedly been victims of domestic violence includes Halle Berry, Madonna, Whitney Houston, Pamela Anderson, Mariah Carey, Tina Turner, Meredith Baxter and Rihanna.
Sometimes a batterer is the most charismatic man in the room; they are lawyers, doctors, politicians, business titans, actors, celebrities, singers and professional athletes.
I understand; domestic violence was not something I ever thought would happen to me. I married a man I knew my whole life; he was smart, handsome, kind and ambitious. We dated for three years with no hint of violence. That changed four months into our marriage. At the time, I thought I was powerful and successful enough to change him; I was not. We have been divorced 18 years.
What I learned is a partner’s behavior is not something you can control, no matter how educated you are, no matter how idyllic your life was growing up, no matter how much you dreamed your life would go well.
And no matter if you are a vibrant, internationally successful best-selling author and chef.
Though she and her children have moved out of their family home, Lawson has yet to publicly comment on the situation. We don’t know whether she views herself as a victim of domestic violence, but those photographs tell a story we need to keep repeating.
So many of us who believe the myths of domestic violence don’t tell because we are ashamed to tell. We believe as successful women we are immune, that it happens to others. Millions of women around the globe in all manner of circumstances think they cannot say the truth about the violence in their lives because they will die of embarrassment.
But we all need to remember, in the most severe cases, it is never embarrassment that kills them.
Article source: http://edition.cnn.com/2013/06/17/living/opinion-lawson-alleged-abuse/index.html?eref=edition
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Palestinian children play football in front of the Israeli security fence in the West Bank village of Abu Dis, on the outskirts of Jerusalem. Organizations such as Mifalot help bring Palestinian and Israeli kids together through the power of football.
Mifalot is a non-government organization in Israel which brings together children from all sections of society and provides education and training through football.
Mifalot operates over 300 programs across the world working with Israelis and Palestinians as well as leading projects in Cameroon, Rwanda, Angola, Benin, Germany, India and Haiti.
Mifalot works with local schools and youth clubs to provide facilities and finance for local children to get degrees in sports coaching and helps them find work after finishing their education.
Children with mental and physical difficulties are given the care and support they need to succeed in sport. Several have gone on to become qualified coaches and lead sessions for the next set of kids coming through.
The charity prides itself on integrating children, youth and young adults with special needs into wider society.
Last January, Mifalot held its first joint Palestinian-Israeli tournament under the banner of “Neighbors United” — a venture backed by the European Union Partnership for Peace Program. Five teams took part, with two of those made up of Israeli and Palestinian girls only.
Last year, a team of nine Palestinians and nine Israelis traveled to Los Angeles where they met players of Spanish club Real Madrid and L.A. Galaxy. The children played in front of 27,000 fans during the halftime interval as part of the Children United Initiative.
Kids work their way through the years until they’re 18, when most Jewish youths go into the Israeli Army. The scheme offers a voluntary civil service for Israeli-Arabs, ultra-orthodox Jews and those who are unsuitable for the army, which is a two-year course helping them attain employment.
Abbas Suan, one of the finest Israeli Arab players to have played for the country, believes his dramatic late goal in the 2006 World Cup qualifier against Ireland helped change perceptions within Israeli society.
Israel’s Jewish player Eran Zahavi (L) and Muslim player Beram Kayal (R) pray before the start of a Euro 2012 qualifier in 2011. The Under-21 squad which competed in this year’s European Championship Finals included five Israel-Arabs, two Ethiopians and a Bedouin.
Moacyr Barbosa Nascimento’s life was forever changed after the 1950 World Cup. With Brazil needing just a draw against Uruguay in its final game to lift the trophy for the first time, the team lost 2-1 and he was blamed for the second goal. The goalkeeper’s perceived mistake haunted him. Twenty years later he overheard a woman in a supermarket say to her son, “There is the man who made Brazil cry.”
The Maracana Stadium in Rio de Janeiro was the venue for the 1950 final, with 200,000 spectators packed into the purpose-built arena. The stadium has been redeveloped and a crowd of 78,000 people will watch the final of 2014 World Cup at the iconic ground.
All eyes will be on Neymar during both June’s Confederations Cup and next year’s World Cup. The attacker, who recently signed for Barcelona in a deal reportedly worth in excess of $80 million, is Brazil’s star player and must perform to his best if “La Selecao” are to satisfy an expectant public.
The Brazil team of 1970, which beat Italy 4-1 in the World Cup final in Mexico, is widely regarded as the greatest of all time. Pele, a three-time World Cup winner seen here leaping on his teammates, says Brazil must recover from the failure of 63 years ago.
Luiz Felipe Scolari was the coach of the last Brazil team to lift the World Cup, in Japan and South Korea in 2002. The veteran has been reappointed in a bid to inject life into an ailing Brazil team. His results have so far left much to be desired: two wins, one defeat and four draws since November 2012.
England was Brazil’s first opponent at a refurbished Maracana earlier this month. A half-volley from midfielder Paulinho, pictured, rescued a 2-2 draw for the 2014 World Cup host.
Brazil’s most recent match, the last before the Confederations Cup starts, ended in a comfortable 3-0 defeat of France. A penalty from Lucas Moura, right, completed the scoring.
Racism has long been a stain on football but a resurgence of incidents in recent years has prompted soccer’s authorities to launch a renewed bid to rid the game of discrimination for good. Here a Fenerbahce fan holds a banana towards Galatasaray’s Ivory Coast striker Didier Drogba during a Turkish league match in May 2013.
CNN’s Pedro Pinto stands on the spot where Boateng decided he’d had enough. He told the World Sport Presents Racism in Football documentary: “I decided to walk off the pitch because I said to myself, in this kind of environment, in this situation, I don’t want to play football anymore.”
Balotelli has had to deal with racism throughout his career. As far back as 2009, when he played for Inter, he was racially abused by opposing Juventus fans. Here, Inter’s fans hold up banners in support of the striker.
Balotelli told Pedro Pinto he was prepared to walk off if he receives more racial abuse: “After what happened to me in (the Roma) game, I felt a little bit alone when I was home. I always said that if that happened in the stadium, like if nobody said anything, I don’t care. But this time I think I changed my mind a little bit, and if it is going to happen one more time, I’m going to leave the pitch because it’s so stupid.”
Boateng’s walk-off prompted the game’s governing body to act and FIFA president Sepp Blatter invited the midfielder to sit on a task force dedicated to tackling racism in football. A raft of reforms have now been passed that could see teams relegated or expelled from competitions.
The head of FIFA’s racism task force, Jeffrey Webb, told CNN the new measures could be “a defining moment in the fight against racism and discrimination.” He labeled the recent abuse of Balotelli and Galatasaray striker Didier Drogba as “ignorant” and “unbelievable.”
One of the most high-profile incidents in England saw Liverpool striker Luis Suarez banned for eight-matches for racially abusing Manchester United’s Patrice Evra in October 2011. Prior to the teams’ return fixture the following February, Suarez refused to shake Evra’s hand. Suarez subsequently apologized.
The Serbian Football Association was hit with an $84,000 fine after a brawl between their under-21 team and England’s in the city of Krusevac in October 2012. England player Danny Rose (far right) said he had been subjected to monkey chants throughout the game. The Serbian FA insisted their fine was for the altercation.
Serbian fans are renowned for creating an intimidating atmosphere, as CNN discovered at the Belgrade derby in May. Despite previous incidents, there was no hint of racism in the match, though the Serbian Football Association’s technical director Savo Milosevic did reveal they have no program in place to tackle racism.
Various initiatives across Europe’s leagues help to try and combat racism and offer opportunities to those communities that are under represented at the top of the game. The Asian Stars event, recently held at Chelsea’s training ground, aims to encourage participation among aspiring Asian players at all levels of football.
Germany captain Lewis Holtby wears a specially made training shirt with the Israeli flag and the words “Feeling at home” embroidered on the front to thank the host fans for making the team welcome at the European Under-21 Championship.
Holtby and teammate Toni Jantschke lay a wreath during the visit to the Yad Vashem Holocaust memorial museum before March’s friendly game against Israel.
Germany striker Pierre-Michel Lasogga told CNN that his visit to the museum in Jerusalem was “extremely moving.”
The players take a moment to pause and reflect while surrounded by photos of those who were murdered in the Holocaust.
Head coach Rainer Adrion was particularly moved by his visit, taking his time to walk around the exhibits.
DFB president Wolfgang Niersbach (center), vice-president Rolf Hocke (right) and the German ambassador in Israel, Andreas Michaelis, lay a wreath during last week’s visit of the German delegation at Yad Vashem.
Lasogga signs autographs for local children at the Hadassah Neurim Youth Village in Netanya.
Striker Peniel Mlapa hands out small German mascots to some of the children at the Youth Village. 
Last January, Mifalot held its first joint Palestinian-Israeli tournament under the banner of “Neighbors United” — a venture backed by the European Union Partnership for Peace Program. Five teams took part, with two of those made up of Israeli and Palestinian girls only.
Last year, a team of nine Palestinians and nine Israelis traveled to Los Angeles where they met players of Spanish club Real Madrid and L.A. Galaxy. The children played in front of 27,000 fans during the halftime interval as part of the Children United Initiative.
